1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,362 ♪♪ 2 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:19,051 ♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪ 3 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:23,556 ♪ And I bet we'll be together for a million more ♪ 4 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,252 ♪ Oh, it's like I started breathing ♪ 5 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,057 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 6 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:35,295 ♪ And I can't remember what I ever did before ♪ 7 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:41,033 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 8 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:46,306 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 9 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:52,579 ♪ And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through ♪ 10 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:57,783 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 11 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,724 ♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪ 12 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,565 Dad, do we have to rehearse this again? 13 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,827 Just one more time, Andy, to be sure you know your lines. Okay. 14 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:11,666 "We're going to the dentist, we'll be there in a while. 15 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,707 He's really not a menace, he's there to help us smile." 16 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,310 "He'll clean your teeth and make them white. 17 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,208 "Your mouth will look like new. 18 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,815 "He'll check your gums, he'll fix your bite, 19 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,282 "and afterwards, if you didn't cry, 20 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,253 your mom and dad can take you to the zoo." 21 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,090 I'm not so sure about this rhyme, Andy. 22 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:34,922 Who... who wrote this? 23 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,724 - My teacher. - It's very good. 24 00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,456 It's very, very good. 25 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,158 Hey. What are you guys reading? 26 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,496 Well, it's a school play about dental hygiene. 27 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,298 Andy got one of the lead roles. 28 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,303 Ooh. 29 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,702 Are you playing the dentist? 30 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,536 I'm the permanent molar. 31 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,667 Oh. That's very good! 32 00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,178 That's how Marlon Brando got his start. 33 00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,441 I remember I was in a dental hygiene play 34 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:56,845 in, uh, second grade. 35 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,783 We did our production of Annie Get Your Gums. 36 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,489 I-I played the ingenue. 37 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:07,925 I was, uh... Jamie Lee Dental Floss. 38 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,996 I still remember my line. 39 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,361 I'm gonna get between you two molars 40 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,263 if it's the last thing I do! 41 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,332 Mommy, help! 42 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,807 Jamie Lee, stop being dental floss. 43 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,342 You're scaring your brother. 44 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,705 Alex isn't here yet, is he? 45 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,316 No. No, not yet. 46 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,816 Good, he's been driving me crazy lately. 47 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,030 Jennifer, you've got to be a little more patient with Alex. 48 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,498 He's really worried about whether or not 49 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,615 he's gonna get this job. 50 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,056 O'Brien, Mathers and Clark is one of the biggest 51 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,127 investment banking firms on Wall Street. 52 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,127 This is the big time. 53 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:47,462 Or, as Alex so lovingly puts it, his "ticket out of this dump." 54 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,437 All right, I understand his anxiety, 55 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:51,868 but-but we live here, too. 56 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,770 I mean, I can't believe he won't let us use the phone 57 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,706 just because he's expecting a call 58 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,203 from-from O'Brien, Mathers and Clark. 59 00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,438 Well, he's not here now. 60 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,605 There's no reason you can't use the phone. 61 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,182 Oh, yeah? 62 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,252 Mallory, put down the phone. 63 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:12,416 I repeat, Mallory, put down the phone. 64 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,585 That's better. 65 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,061 This has been a public service announcement. 66 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,565 And let me tell you, that's not the worst part 67 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,944 about this whole New York thing. 68 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,766 He's acting like he lives there already. 69 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,135 Yesterday, I went to get in the car, 70 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,538 he throws open the car door, throws me out, 71 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,611 and says, "Find your own cab, pal." 72 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,236 Well, yeah, all right, 73 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,214 look, I-I'm sure once Alex hears about this job... 74 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,612 And hopefully gets it... 75 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,515 Everything will be fine around here. 76 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,781 Well, I hope so, because if I hear one more word 77 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,481 about New York, I'm gonna scream. 78 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,790 ♪ Start spreading the news ♪ 79 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,923 ♪ I'm leaving today ♪ 80 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,864 You've been a wonderful sister. 81 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,334 ♪ I'm gonna be a part of it ♪ 82 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,064 ♪ Get yourself a little something ♪ 83 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,043 ♪ New York, New York... ♪ 84 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,303 Alex, that's wonderful. 85 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,969 Yes! 86 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,457 Why are you congratulating him, Dad? 87 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,780 He didn't sing it that well. 88 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,215 No, Mallory, he got the, he got the job. 89 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,218 You did get the job, didn't you? 90 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,482 Because you really didn't sing it that well. 91 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,421 - I got the job! - Oh, Alex, great, great! 92 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,856 Yes! Yes! Did you hear that, Mom? 93 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,270 I'm gonna be the youngest executive 94 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,160 in the history of O'Brien, Mathers and Clark. 95 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,424 Mom, I am gonna be rich. 96 00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,295 That's wonderful. 97 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,130 I'm so excited for you. 98 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,999 Yeah, we hate to admit it, too, Alex, 99 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,367 but we're excited for you. 100 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,701 Thank you, thank you. 101 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,173 You have something for me? Thank you. 102 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,610 Yeah, we're excited for you. How rich? 103 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:45,241 Well, Mal, you know how much money Nick is gonna make 104 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:47,616 in his entire lifetime? 105 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,417 I should pass him by Thursday. 106 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:55,752 Well, at least you're staying humble. 107 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,956 Come on, Dad, it's hard to be humble 108 00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:02,399 when you are gonna make $75,000 a year. 109 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,231 Alex, that is a lot of money... It's very impressive... 110 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,402 But don't forget to ask this question: 111 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,639 will it bring you fulfillment? 112 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,623 Dad, it'll bring it... 113 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,626 it'll clean it... 114 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,493 and it'll have it pressed for me in the morning. 115 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,192 I can't believe this. 116 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,360 This is a culmination of all my dreams. 117 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,971 I'm gonna be winging to Gotham, 118 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,970 I'm gonna be hobnobbing with the bigwigs. 119 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,404 I mean, lunch at the plaza, 120 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,409 date with a different Rockette every night. 121 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:45,744 Well, just don't get them mad, 122 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,839 'cause they could kick the hell out of you. 123 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,544 So I guess this means you'll be moving to New York. 124 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,122 Well, of course I'll be moving to New York, Mom. 125 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,420 That, uh... that, uh, Columbus-to-Manhattan commute 126 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:02,051 is really a bear. 127 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,788 So, so when will you go? In the fall? 128 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,161 The f... Mom, get real; the fall? 129 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,460 They got me. 130 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,070 They know what they got; they want me next week. 131 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,866 I mean, would you wait until the fall to get me? 132 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,872 Well, Alex, that's not enough time. 133 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,408 We have to get your plane ticket... 134 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,543 No, done, paid for. 135 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,806 We have to get you a place to live. 136 00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,744 Done, paid for. 137 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,181 Well, sheets, towels, pillowcases. 138 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,344 Done. Taking yours. 139 00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:32,621 Well, Alex, that's just not right. 140 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,752 I mean, don't they understand, this really isn't enough time. 141 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:36,896 Oh, wait, Mom, Mom, 142 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,965 if-if they want him there in a week, 143 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,433 I'm sure we can get him out of here in a week. 144 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,832 That's right, Mom. 145 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,132 Alex, I'll be happy to help you pack. 146 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,640 You want to start now? 147 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,267 Girl, girls, girls, girls. 148 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,539 Now, you're being very cavalier about this, 149 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,909 but, uh, let's face it, 150 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,143 I mean, someday, you're gonna miss me. 151 00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,344 We know that. 152 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,717 We already miss him. 153 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,187 We're just simply saying that 154 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,155 if you want to start packing now, 155 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:08,319 then you want what we want. 156 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,986 Look, look, look. 157 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,792 Let's not, uh, let's not rush this. 158 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,457 This is a moment to be relished. 159 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,399 Alex, we're all very proud of you. 160 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,560 Thanks, Dad. 161 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,696 Kind of like to savor this moment myself. 162 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,239 I can't believe it. 163 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,240 Alex is finally leaving the nest, huh? 164 00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,541 Sprouting wings, flying out on your own, huh? 165 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:32,346 Journeying beyond the borders of Keaton Land... 166 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,683 to the uncharted regions of the unknown. 167 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,724 Flying against the wind. 168 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,383 Fighting the odds. 169 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:44,259 Uh, Dad, Dad, we could've had him out of here by now. 170 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,562 Alex, you okay up there? 171 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,533 You need any help with your stuff? 172 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,501 No, it's okay, Dad, I can manage. 173 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,381 Come on, Jen, let's go. Chop-chop. 174 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,177 Haven't got all day. 175 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,343 Alex, I can't do this. 176 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,546 Alex, she can't carry all that stuff. 177 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:12,921 That's right, your sister is not a Grand Canyon mule. 178 00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,584 Thanks for noticing, Dad. 179 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,458 Look, Jen, come on, one more trip. 180 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,394 All you got left is the dresser. 181 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,990 Alex, I can't physically do this. 182 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,331 "I can't physically do this." 183 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,168 Come on, do you want me to live here for the rest of my life? 184 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,573 I'll get that dresser. 185 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,542 Maybe things will smooth out if I supervise. 186 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,170 Yeah, go on up there, Mom. 187 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,647 There's a load up there for you, too. 188 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,342 Ow. 189 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,115 Alex. 190 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,121 Dad. 191 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,021 - Come here, come here. - What? 192 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:55,294 Anything... you want to ask me about, uh, life? 193 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,769 As a young man on his own for the first time. 194 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,106 Not really, Dad, no. 195 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,304 Well, it's just been... there's been 196 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,711 a fine tradition of father-son farewell discussions 197 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,043 in the Keaton family. 198 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,618 You may remember what my father said to me 199 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,415 as I left to venture out into the world. 200 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,650 "Get out and take your brother with you"? 201 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,318 Well, I don't remember the exact words. 202 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,226 But... the important thing is the sentiment. 203 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,390 Passing of advice from one... 204 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,469 generation to the other, and, uh, well... 205 00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:32,367 I'd like to do the same thing for you, my son. 206 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,303 Thanks, Dad. 207 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:38,674 Uh, all right, well, what advice did your father give you? 208 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:43,043 Neither a borrower... 209 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,176 nor a lender be. 210 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:54,619 A penny saved is a penny earned. 211 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:06,265 If you swallow an apple seed... 212 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,376 an apple tree will grow in your stomach. 213 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,412 A bird in the hand... 214 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:23,284 makes blowing your nose difficult. 215 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,858 Your mother and I have done our job well. 216 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:28,994 Now, Alex... 217 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,791 Alex, when you get to the big city, 218 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,492 you're gonna be walking down the street 219 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,399 and some woman may... 220 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:41,497 sashay up to you... 221 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,304 dressed in some sort of provocative 222 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:48,040 and scanty garb. 223 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:53,018 You mean Aunt Miriam still lives in New York? 224 00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:00,983 No, Alex, these woman are even friendlier than Aunt Miriam. 225 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,790 Dad, uh... thanks for your advice. 226 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,626 Try and keep it in mind. 227 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:09,293 You know, Alex, you and I have disagreed on, well... 228 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:11,529 almost everything, uh... 229 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,072 but one thing I've always admired about you 230 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,234 is your passion for what you believe in. 231 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,312 Now, look, when you get into the business world, 232 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,380 there's gonna be a lot of pressure on you 233 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,506 to compromise your beliefs. 234 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,078 But, Alex... 235 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,988 don't lose your passion. 236 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,130 More importantly... 237 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:41,496 don't lose your keys. 238 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,665 I'm gonna miss you, Dad. 239 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,208 Gonna miss you, too. 240 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,808 Listen, hey, uh, one more thing. 241 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,440 Uh-huh? 242 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,461 - Uh, this is for you. No, no. - Aw, Dad, Dad... 243 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:00,612 Listen, this is, this is... 244 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,431 Come on, come on, you take that, you take that. 245 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,866 Look, now, this is... It's just a little something 246 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,983 to get you started in life. 247 00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,820 Your mother and I want you to have it. 248 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,189 Dad... 249 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,562 $200, Dad. 250 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,600 I-I know. 251 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,726 Now you only owe me $74.50. 252 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,039 - Alex? - Yeah? 253 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,907 I found this in one of the boxes in your bedroom. 254 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,308 Were you just gonna take it? 255 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,678 Uh, yeah, well... 256 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,944 I'm sorry, I was, I was gonna ask you can I have it. 257 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,884 It's, um... it's got a lot of sentimental value for me. 258 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:38,514 It's my favorite picture of you, me and Dad. 259 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,490 Well, fine, sure. 260 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,994 Take it, it's okay. 261 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,598 Well, hey, if you're gonna be that way about it, 262 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:46,597 I don't want it. 263 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:47,733 You take it. 264 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,911 No, no, I've got a million pictures. 265 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,426 Uh, I don't need it, you take it. 266 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,335 Mom, believe me, it's no big deal, one way or the other. 267 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,965 You want it or not? 268 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,440 Hey, look, I'll tell you what. 269 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,982 Why don't you keep it, get a copy made, 270 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,485 you bring it to New York when you come visit me. 271 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,454 Well, Alex, um, we're not just gonna be flying 272 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,458 all over the country for you, you know. 273 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,232 What's the matter with Mom? 274 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,335 Oh, you know her. 275 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,460 She hates to fly. 276 00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:03,201 Hi, Jen. 277 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,608 What the hell are you doing? 278 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,737 Me? 279 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,048 Well, um... 280 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,677 Well, you know, you, um... 281 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,882 S-Since you're leaving soon, I just wanted to see your room 282 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,959 the way you like to keep it once more. 283 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,755 Ah. 284 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,762 It's very nice. 285 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,389 How do you explain the tape measure? 286 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,728 The tape measure? 287 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,961 Mm. 288 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,004 Well, um... 289 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,834 I'm taking wood shop in school. 290 00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:35,669 Uh-huh. 291 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,607 And I was gonna surprise you with a new floor. 292 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,483 Well, sorry to spoil your surprise, Jen. 293 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,882 Okay, I admit it, Alex. 294 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,653 I-I was gonna bring my stereo in here and turn this 295 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,691 into a music room after you leave. 296 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,425 I'm sor... 297 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,793 A music room, Jen? 298 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,395 I've calculated the national debt in this room. 299 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,704 And you're gonna play the devil's music in here? 300 00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:13,870 Jen, I'm shocked. 301 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:17,609 I am shocked... no, I'm dismayed. 302 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,845 No, this room is gonna stay exactly as it is. 303 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,546 It's gonna be a... 304 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:26,147 It's gonna be a shrine. 305 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:29,262 It's gonna be a shrine to me. 306 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,058 And after I'm gone, you put up the little velvet ropes. 307 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:37,730 You can bring on the tour buses and charge a buck a head. 308 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:41,272 Great. In two years, we'll be able to buy an ice cream cone. 309 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:44,844 N-No actual ice cream, just the cone. 310 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,377 Huh. 311 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:49,311 No, Jen, I'm telling you, people are gonna line up 312 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,577 just to see this autographed picture of Nixon. 313 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,846 Oh, the picture of Nixon... I'm sorry, I completely forgot. 314 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:57,354 We're gonna have to get valet parking now. 315 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,255 You know, Jen, you always surprise me. 316 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,919 How can you be so politically naive, 317 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,997 being as smart as you are? 318 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,999 I mean, Jen, you're almost as smart as I am. 319 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,937 Well, Alex, you know, since you're leaving soon, 320 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,268 I can break this to you. 321 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,969 I'm smarter than you are. 322 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,683 Obviously, my imminent departure has clouded 323 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:32,917 your excellent but slightly inferior mind. 324 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,857 No, I'm smarter than you, Alex. 325 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:35,994 Try me. 326 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,929 Oh, come on. 327 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,727 Jen, I'm not gonna try you. 328 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,995 74.9 is the cube root of what number? 329 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,104 You have five minutes; take your time. 330 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:49,540 400,189.75. 331 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,667 That's close. 332 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,074 Exactly. 333 00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,579 Annoying. 334 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,809 But interesting. 335 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:01,853 All I want to know, Jen, is... what good is that gonna do you 336 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,617 as you stroll through the third most populous city in Tanzania 337 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,453 purchasing its three major exports? 338 00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,891 Well, it would give me pause for thought 339 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,553 as I strolled through downtown Zanzibar 340 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,860 with an armful of cotton, coffee and sisal. 341 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,104 That is such a lucky guess. 342 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,576 You know, Alex, to be fair, 343 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,550 you did teach me everything I know. 344 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,814 Uh-huh. 345 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,754 Never do that again. 346 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,622 Why don't we just call it a tie? 347 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,061 I mean, the most important part about it is... 348 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,166 you've always been there for me. 349 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:51,563 Tutoring me, pushing me to do better, 350 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:55,163 to achieve everything that I could possibly achieve. 351 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,800 And I thank you for that. 352 00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,540 Thanks, Jen. 353 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,945 So, I guess the question is... 354 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,222 what use are you gonna put all that knowledge to? 355 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,722 Well, I was thinking of going to law school, 356 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,985 maybe becoming an anti-trust attorney, 357 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,153 and possibly putting you in jail in a few years. 358 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,135 Hang on to your dreams, Jen. 359 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,081 I think I'll go now. 360 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,016 Feel much more comfortable measuring your room 361 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,713 after you move out. 362 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,845 You're a sensitive gal. 363 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,174 Hey, Mallory. 364 00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:40,008 What are you doing? 365 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,279 Me? 366 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,645 Uh... 367 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,350 Well... 368 00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:51,218 with you leaving and everything, um... 369 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,418 I was feeling nostalgic, so... 370 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,961 You're measuring it for a music room. 371 00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,793 No. Sewing. 372 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:00,797 No way. 373 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:01,798 Oh, come on, Alex. 374 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,425 What do you want us to do? 375 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,504 Put up little velvet ropes when you're gone 376 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,233 and keep it as a shrine? 377 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,936 What kind of a pompous fool do you take me for? 378 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,938 Oh, forget it. 379 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,685 You know what, Alex? 380 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,255 No. What, Mal? 381 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,320 I guess I'm really proud of you. 382 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,724 I mean, I am. 383 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:32,729 I am. 384 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,299 I'm very proud of you. 385 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,331 Thanks, Mal. 386 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,337 That means a lot to me. 387 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,135 I mean... 388 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,774 I don't know anything about what it is that you do. 389 00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,350 But I know that you do it really well. 390 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,921 And I think it's terrific the way you went out 391 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,581 and-and got what you wanted. 392 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,250 Whatever that is. 393 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,885 And I mean that. 394 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,498 Well, Mal, I'm proud of you. 395 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,601 And I mean that. 396 00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,695 Really? 397 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,135 'Cause sometimes I feel like 398 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,241 you don't have respect for what I do. 399 00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,275 Oh, Mal. 400 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:18,968 Come on, your fashion designs? 401 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,272 You're brilliant. 402 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:21,923 I mean, you're very talented. 403 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,213 Well, thank you. 404 00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:29,652 Thanks for noticing. 405 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,984 Now that you're leaving, 406 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,853 I want to talk to you about something. 407 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,188 What's that? 408 00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,789 Your overcoat. 409 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:42,265 Don't get mushy on me, Mal. 410 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,768 You've got to promise me that when you get to New York, 411 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,203 you will buy a new one... This one's too stuffy. 412 00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,741 Well, Mal, I-I'm going to work for O'Brien, Mathers and Clark. 413 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,277 They like stuffy. 414 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:57,315 Their president's name is Bob "Stuffy" O'Brien. 415 00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:58,974 Alex, you got to listen to me. 416 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,849 Give this one to Mr. Stuffy and start fresh. 417 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,819 And when you're on Wall Street, 418 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:06,585 and you're wearing one of those, uh, 419 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:10,218 one of your boring, black, three-piece pinstripe suits, 420 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,456 add a little splash of color somewhere. 421 00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:16,091 A red handkerchief or a rose or-or a little button that says, 422 00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:17,999 "I'm really not this dull." 423 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,868 I'm gonna miss you, Mal. 424 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,270 I know. 425 00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:26,038 Well, I'll be the next one to move out, Alex. 426 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:29,205 I hope I'm as successful as you are. 427 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,681 I mean, in fashion. 428 00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,150 Not in whatever it is that you do. 429 00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:39,615 I'll warm up New York for you, Mal. 430 00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:43,388 Oh, excuse me, Alex. 431 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,657 I didn't know you're in here. 432 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,236 Oh, get down here, get down here. 433 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,372 All right. Whoa, whoa. 434 00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:55,599 All right. 435 00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:57,141 Hey, we got it. 436 00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,869 We got it! We got it! 437 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,207 I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck! 438 00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:02,815 - Who's stuck? - Well, I don't know, 439 00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,507 maybe it's me. 440 00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:05,650 No, I-I'm fine. 441 00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:07,983 All right, then it must be me. 442 00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:14,820 Nice work, gentlemen. 443 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,522 Okay. 444 00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,154 Now to the matter of money. 445 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:22,268 I believe there was a... a fee discussed for this job. 446 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,302 Uh, well, gee, Alex, all I can really 447 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:27,873 afford to give you is a dollar and a quarter. 448 00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:30,442 We'll call it even, Skip. 449 00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:31,976 Hey, uh, you know, Alex... 450 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,444 this place ain't gonna be the same without you here. 451 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,879 I mean, when I come over to talk to you, 452 00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:39,485 you ain't gonna be here. 453 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,547 Won't affect our conversation any. 454 00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:46,750 No, Alex, he's right. 455 00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:48,087 We are really gonna miss you. 456 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,490 Y-You've been my best friend 457 00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:51,927 ever since you moved in across the street 18 years ago. 458 00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:54,329 You're-you're like a big brother to me. 459 00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:55,991 You've taught me everything I know... 460 00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:58,297 About life, love, romance. 461 00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:02,067 The fact that I still don't have a girlfriend 462 00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:05,473 and people won't even talk to me on the 976 party line... 463 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,745 that doesn't change my feelings about you. 464 00:24:09,882 --> 00:24:13,011 Well, Skippy, it's been a pleasure knowing you. 465 00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:16,680 You're truly one of the most unique people I've ever met. 466 00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:18,688 Oh. 467 00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:21,658 Alex, don't go. 468 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,660 Come on, Skippy, get a grip. 469 00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,628 Oh, please, Alex, don't go! 470 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,291 This is really beautiful. 471 00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:30,435 Excuse me. 472 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,668 Skippy. Come on. 473 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,367 Come on, Skippy! Come on. 474 00:24:37,509 --> 00:24:40,741 Look, guys, guys, get it together here, will you? 475 00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:43,314 Look, it's not like you're never gonna see me again. 476 00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:44,769 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true, Alex. 477 00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:47,342 I mean, I am gonna be your brother-in-law one day. 478 00:24:49,021 --> 00:24:51,217 Let's not jump the gun here, Nick. 479 00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:54,156 I mean, I mean, you haven't even asked her yet, 480 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:56,558 so there's still a good possibility 481 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:59,255 that we're not gonna be related. 482 00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,031 Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, Alex, 483 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,136 you know, I've been thinking about it a lot. 484 00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:06,109 I got the whole proposal planned out, you know? 485 00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,572 Yeah, uh, how about I show you how I'm gonna do it? 486 00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:11,575 I'd rather not see this. 487 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:14,145 No, no, no. You know, I really want you to hear. 488 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,248 That way, in case I screw anything up, 489 00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:17,748 you can tell me, all right? 490 00:25:17,883 --> 00:25:20,478 Uh... Skip, you be Mallory. 491 00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:22,952 Okay. I can do that. 492 00:25:23,088 --> 00:25:25,853 Just stop me before I throw me out of the house. 493 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:36,726 Mallory... 494 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:40,135 I've been thinking. 495 00:25:40,272 --> 00:25:42,332 We've been together now for quite some time, 496 00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:45,911 and, uh, I've really grown quite attached to you. 497 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:49,812 I've watched you blossom into a beautiful young woman. 498 00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:57,782 My, is it getting warm in here? 499 00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:07,066 This is like the nuthouse version of Romeo and Juliet. 500 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:12,262 When I see you on the back of my bike, 501 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:17,001 your lustrous hair blowing in the breeze... 502 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,777 it just makes me realize 503 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:26,977 how very much in love with you I am. 504 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,519 And it just makes me 505 00:26:28,654 --> 00:26:32,182 want to sing one of my favorite love songs. 506 00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:34,418 ♪ Here she comes ♪ 507 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,995 ♪ Uh, just a-walkin' down the street ♪ 508 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:46,030 ♪ Singing do-wah diddy ♪ 509 00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,231 ♪ Diddy-dum, diddy-do... ♪ 510 00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:52,309 I think the key word here is "dumb." 511 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:56,680 What I mean is... 512 00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:59,046 Skippy... 513 00:26:59,184 --> 00:27:01,176 will you marry me? 514 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,447 Yes. 515 00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:11,894 It's the best offer I've had in months. 516 00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:13,896 Oh! 517 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:18,596 Okay. 518 00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,571 I now pronounce you idiot and wife. 519 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:26,272 There's a champagne reception in the kitchen. 520 00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:28,380 This is the happiest day of my life. 521 00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:30,107 Oh, Nick, this is all so sudden! 522 00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,385 This is the happiest day in my life, too. 523 00:27:45,264 --> 00:27:46,391 Hi. 524 00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:47,932 - Hey, Lauren. - Hi. 525 00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,058 - How you doing? - Good. 526 00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:53,037 - I heard you were leaving. - Oh, yeah. 527 00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:56,267 So I stopped by a bakery to get you a going-away cake, 528 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:57,432 but they didn't have any, 529 00:27:57,576 --> 00:27:59,374 so I got you this going-away muffin instead. 530 00:28:00,646 --> 00:28:02,774 I even had them write a message on it. 531 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:04,941 Well, that's-that's real sweet, Lauren. Thanks. 532 00:28:05,083 --> 00:28:06,949 Well, it was supposed to say, 533 00:28:07,085 --> 00:28:08,610 "Good luck in the Big Apple, Alex," 534 00:28:08,754 --> 00:28:10,416 but that's all they could fit. 535 00:28:10,556 --> 00:28:12,388 Well, I think "goo" pretty much covers it. 536 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:14,322 Mm. 537 00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:15,825 Look, I can't stay long. 538 00:28:15,961 --> 00:28:18,692 I just wanted to wish you all the best in New York. 539 00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,093 Thanks. 540 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,201 So I guess you're finally gonna get your wish. 541 00:28:22,334 --> 00:28:23,393 You're gonna be rich. 542 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,901 $75,000 a year. 543 00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:27,063 Hey, you heard. 544 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:31,109 Yeah, well, skywriting is a very effective medium. 545 00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:33,371 Not to mention the radio ads. 546 00:28:33,512 --> 00:28:37,244 ♪ Alex Keaton, 75 grand. ♪ 547 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:40,978 Everybody, can I have your attention, please? 548 00:28:41,119 --> 00:28:44,419 Appearing tomorrow only at the Greenvale Grammar School, 549 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:47,424 I'd like to introduce to you someone who is very important 550 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,289 in all of our lives... 551 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:51,659 And a very special guy in his own right... 552 00:28:51,797 --> 00:28:54,289 Everyone, let's meet and greet 553 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:56,993 Andrew, the human molar! 554 00:28:57,135 --> 00:28:58,899 Hey! -STEVEN: Oh! 555 00:28:59,037 --> 00:29:01,404 Oh, boy! 556 00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:06,605 Don't eat sweets or I'll turn brown. 557 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,340 Remember to brush me up and down. 558 00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:11,279 - Yay. - That's terrific, honey. 559 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,385 - This costume... - Let me see. 560 00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:18,623 Yeah. I was so touched by it, I wrote one for myself. 561 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:21,454 Um... we can walk on coals 562 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,585 and have ninjas fight us, 563 00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:25,857 but be sure not to get... 564 00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:27,990 gingivitis. 565 00:29:34,072 --> 00:29:35,438 Hey, this is great, sweetheart. 566 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:37,585 We're gonna have a good time coming to see you at your play. 567 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:38,786 Hey, hey, hey, all right, come on. 568 00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:40,154 Let's go upstairs, Andy, all right? 569 00:29:40,178 --> 00:29:42,875 Let's get that costume off, get ready for dinner. 570 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:45,026 I have a good idea. Why don't we go out for pizza, okay, 571 00:29:45,050 --> 00:29:46,194 and celebrate Andy learning his lines. 572 00:29:46,218 --> 00:29:47,447 Yeah. 573 00:29:47,586 --> 00:29:49,264 Also, 'cause I forgot to get anything out for dinner. 574 00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:50,984 All right, all right. 575 00:29:52,691 --> 00:29:53,715 Well, are you coming? 576 00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:55,003 We're all going out for some pizza. 577 00:29:55,027 --> 00:29:56,667 Ah, pizza. Uh, no, that sounds great, Mom, 578 00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:59,288 but I got a lot of important stuff I got to do tonight. 579 00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:00,431 What stuff? 580 00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:01,899 I-I... you know, kind of packing up 581 00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:03,611 and moving to the Big Apple kind of stuff. 582 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:05,297 I got to, uh, I got to call my landlord 583 00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:07,030 and make sure he got my deposit check. 584 00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:08,750 I got to make sure the electricity's turned on. 585 00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:12,802 I got to call Mayor Koch about that key to the city thing. 586 00:30:12,944 --> 00:30:15,023 Well, you know, it's only gonna take us an hour to eat. 587 00:30:15,047 --> 00:30:16,287 Can't you make the calls later? 588 00:30:16,381 --> 00:30:18,221 Uh, Ma, I'd just feel a little more comfortable 589 00:30:18,283 --> 00:30:19,581 if I got it done tonight. 590 00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:22,051 Okay, fine. 591 00:30:22,187 --> 00:30:25,316 What? Is-is there a problem with that? 592 00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:27,483 No, no, that's fine. Forget it. 593 00:30:29,628 --> 00:30:31,358 Mom, what's-what's the matter with you? 594 00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:33,658 I said, nothing. 595 00:30:33,799 --> 00:30:35,529 Look, this is a very big deal here. 596 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,267 I'm-I'm not just going across the street. 597 00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:40,271 I'm picking my whole life up, and I'm taking it to New York. 598 00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:42,101 I swear that's all I hear lately. 599 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,674 "New York! New York!" 600 00:30:43,809 --> 00:30:45,086 Well, maybe you've been listening 601 00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:46,430 to a little too much Sinatra, Mom. 602 00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:49,379 Wonderfully funny, Alex. 603 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:54,217 What is going on with you, Mom? 604 00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:55,844 Ever since I got this job, 605 00:30:55,987 --> 00:30:58,513 you're treating me like I'm not a member of this family. 606 00:30:58,657 --> 00:31:01,149 A member of this family would be going out for pizza, 607 00:31:01,293 --> 00:31:03,728 because that's what the family is doing tonight. 608 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:06,354 I can't believe what I'm hearing! 609 00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:08,490 I have some important things to do tonight. 610 00:31:08,633 --> 00:31:10,192 Why is that so hard to understand? 611 00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:12,413 What I don't understand is the way you've been acting 612 00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:14,838 ever since this whole job business started. 613 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,067 All right, Mom, fine. 614 00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:20,839 Okay, why don't you just tell me how I've been acting. 615 00:31:22,914 --> 00:31:26,578 Like an ungrateful, arrogant, 616 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,710 selfish, insufferable little boy 617 00:31:28,854 --> 00:31:30,880 who doesn't have any time for his family 618 00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:32,786 now that he's become such a big shot. 619 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,452 Well, if that's the way you feel about it, Mom, 620 00:31:37,596 --> 00:31:38,894 that's your problem. 621 00:31:39,030 --> 00:31:40,521 No, no, Alex, that is your problem. 622 00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:42,031 No, that's your problem. 623 00:31:42,167 --> 00:31:44,159 Is there a problem? 624 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:50,241 Alex refuses to go out for pizza. 625 00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:51,900 Yeah, that's right, I do. 626 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:55,275 Call the pizza cops, haul me away. 627 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,110 Well, you guys don't have to argue. 628 00:31:57,249 --> 00:32:00,117 I mean, you know, we can go out for Chinese food. 629 00:32:02,287 --> 00:32:03,767 I can't believe what I'm hearing here. 630 00:32:03,822 --> 00:32:05,066 You shouldn't listen to this woman. 631 00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,367 She's being completely irrational! 632 00:32:06,391 --> 00:32:08,121 Hey, hey, hey, don't talk to me that way. 633 00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,971 All right, hol-hold on. Hold on there, Alex. 634 00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,075 I mean, Alex, you're really 635 00:32:11,196 --> 00:32:12,540 forgetting something real fast, you know? 636 00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:14,724 We have been there for you financially and emotionally. 637 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,200 - We put a roof over your head - Oh. 638 00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:17,712 And food on your plate for 22 years! 639 00:32:17,736 --> 00:32:19,714 All right, okay, all right. Is that what this is about? 640 00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:21,604 It's about thank you? 641 00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:24,209 Well, thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad. 642 00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:26,436 But guess what. 643 00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:28,069 I don't need your food anymore. 644 00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:29,943 And I don't need your roof. 645 00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:32,676 You know, I'm not waiting till next week to leave. 646 00:32:32,818 --> 00:32:34,729 I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna watch Andy's play tomorrow night, 647 00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:36,813 and then I'm out of here the next morning! 648 00:32:50,569 --> 00:32:51,730 Hi, honey. 649 00:32:51,870 --> 00:32:53,736 Hi. 650 00:32:53,872 --> 00:32:55,738 How was your day? 651 00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:57,740 Well, I was kind of tired. 652 00:32:57,876 --> 00:33:00,573 As you know, I didn't get much sleep last night. 653 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,203 It's not my fault. 654 00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:05,647 Well, I believe it was you who kicked me out of bed 655 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:07,252 four times during the night yelling, 656 00:33:07,385 --> 00:33:09,980 "Is that any way to treat your mother?" 657 00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:13,989 I'm sorry, Steven. 658 00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:15,991 I-I'm just so upset. 659 00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:17,967 I mean, look, w-we're great parents, aren't we? 660 00:33:18,096 --> 00:33:21,032 You know, sensitive, caring, gentle. 661 00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:22,395 I know. I... 662 00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:24,526 I'm not finished! 663 00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:28,070 Uh, sorry. 664 00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:29,970 You were up to, uh, "gentle." 665 00:33:30,108 --> 00:33:32,100 Damn right, we're gentle! 666 00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:34,873 And considerate and patient. 667 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:38,575 And he... he just takes it all for granted. 668 00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:41,414 Elyse, there are two sides to this problem. 669 00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,717 No, there are not. 670 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,291 What's the other side? 671 00:33:47,425 --> 00:33:49,553 Alex has a lot of pressure to deal with. 672 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:52,721 "Oh, Alex has a lot of pressure to deal with." 673 00:33:58,603 --> 00:34:01,437 This is his first real experience away from home. 674 00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:04,873 "This is his first real experience away from home." 675 00:34:06,811 --> 00:34:08,712 Have you ever noticed a sarcastic echo 676 00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:10,179 in this kitchen before? 677 00:34:10,315 --> 00:34:14,184 Steven, Alex is going off to start a whole new life. 678 00:34:14,319 --> 00:34:15,685 He is thrilled. 679 00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,686 He is happier than he's ever been. 680 00:34:17,822 --> 00:34:19,552 And he's only thinking about one person. 681 00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:21,250 Not you, not me. 682 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:22,656 He's thinking about him. 683 00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:25,787 He is totally and completely self-centered. 684 00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,625 But he's always been that way. 685 00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:34,268 I know, I know, but why has he always been that way? 686 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:35,772 I mean, we're not that way. 687 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,705 Wh... And he has our genes. 688 00:34:37,842 --> 00:34:39,105 Why...? 689 00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:41,304 Why aren't our genes in him, huh? 690 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:42,778 I mean, oh, look at you. 691 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,314 Y-You're a wonderful man. 692 00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:46,418 You're warm, you're caring. 693 00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:47,575 Thank you. 694 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,711 I'm not finished! Ugh! 695 00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:54,783 I-I'm sorry. 696 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:58,226 And-and I am warm and caring, too. 697 00:34:58,363 --> 00:34:59,854 That goes without saying. 698 00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:02,797 You don't think I'm right about this, do you? 699 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:04,493 Elyse, forgive me, but I don't think 700 00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:06,628 there is a right or wrong to this situation. 701 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:08,069 Well, I'm telling you, there is. 702 00:35:08,206 --> 00:35:09,726 Well, I would disagree with you, but... 703 00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:11,469 But, but, but what, what, what?! 704 00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:14,079 But I'm afraid to. 705 00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:24,184 I don't expect you to understand, Steven. 706 00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:26,188 You're a man. 707 00:35:26,324 --> 00:35:31,194 Hey, uh, yeah, you're right about that, Elyse. 708 00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:32,695 Us men... we don't, uh... 709 00:35:32,831 --> 00:35:34,823 we're too dumb to figure out nothing. 710 00:35:42,874 --> 00:35:45,867 What's this we're sitting at? 711 00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:48,344 Hey, a table. 712 00:36:02,527 --> 00:36:04,428 Knock it off, Steven. 713 00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:06,224 I'm serious. 714 00:36:06,364 --> 00:36:07,457 See... 715 00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:09,465 it's different for me. 716 00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,160 I'm a woman. 717 00:36:11,302 --> 00:36:13,635 Duh. What's a woman? 718 00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:14,796 I'm telling you. 719 00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:16,417 Elyse, men have feelings 720 00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:17,500 about these things, too. 721 00:36:17,642 --> 00:36:19,133 Duh. What's a man? 722 00:36:19,277 --> 00:36:20,836 All right. All right, Elyse. 723 00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:23,881 Obvious, I can't talk to you about this now. 724 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:26,041 Steven-Steven, wait, wait. I'm-I'm sorry. 725 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:27,413 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 726 00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:31,011 I'm... I'm just upset and really confused. 727 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,550 I know you are. 728 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:38,095 I'm feeling it, too. 729 00:36:38,229 --> 00:36:40,095 But you have got to talk these things out. 730 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:41,096 I know. 731 00:36:41,232 --> 00:36:43,827 To communicate. 732 00:36:43,968 --> 00:36:47,461 If not with him, then with me. 733 00:36:50,075 --> 00:36:51,976 Let's-let's face it. 734 00:36:52,110 --> 00:36:54,136 Before you know it, 735 00:36:54,279 --> 00:36:57,147 these kids will all be leaving home. 736 00:36:57,282 --> 00:36:59,148 It'll be just you and me. 737 00:36:59,284 --> 00:37:02,277 Oh, God, I'm so depressed! 738 00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:17,562 Once you get to know me, I'm a pretty nice guy. 739 00:37:17,702 --> 00:37:19,568 Steven, I... 740 00:37:19,704 --> 00:37:23,436 I don't mean about you and me. I... 741 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:27,706 Oh, I... I love you so much for putting up with me. 742 00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:29,872 How can I ever thank you? 743 00:37:30,014 --> 00:37:33,178 Please don't kick me out of bed tonight. 744 00:37:33,318 --> 00:37:36,311 I'll think about it. 745 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,626 Well, look who's here! 746 00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:45,025 The permanent molar. 747 00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:46,961 Please don't bite me! 748 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,098 I won't. 749 00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:50,125 I'm not that kind of tooth, Mom. 750 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:54,467 Uh, well, uh, actually, Andy, molars do bite. 751 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,269 I know, as I was once bitten by my cousin Davey, 752 00:37:57,408 --> 00:38:00,037 who, after several seasons of semipro hockey, 753 00:38:00,178 --> 00:38:03,171 only had molars. 754 00:38:03,314 --> 00:38:05,146 Why'd he bite you, Nick? 755 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,546 Well, I bit him. 756 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:10,018 It was a, uh, phase the whole family was going through. 757 00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:15,957 - Well, why don't we go. - Yeah. 758 00:38:16,094 --> 00:38:17,357 We don't want to be late. 759 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:19,123 Alex! 760 00:38:19,264 --> 00:38:21,756 Yeah. I'm ready. 761 00:38:23,401 --> 00:38:25,393 I'll get my coat. 762 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,676 Alex, can I talk to you for a minute? 763 00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:42,811 Yeah, sure, Dad. 764 00:38:45,723 --> 00:38:48,921 Uh, look, Alex, your mother is really upset. 765 00:38:49,060 --> 00:38:52,189 I think it would be nice if you went over and talked to her. 766 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,855 About what? 767 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,194 About whatever it is that's bothering you two. 768 00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,303 Look, Dad, I didn't do anything wrong, okay? 769 00:38:58,436 --> 00:39:00,462 If anything, she should be talking to me. 770 00:39:00,605 --> 00:39:01,664 Look, Alex. 771 00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:02,637 Alex, please. 772 00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:04,367 I've found that... 773 00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:06,637 in dealing with your mother in situations like this, 774 00:39:06,778 --> 00:39:08,337 doesn't matter who's right or wrong. 775 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:10,505 I always apologize. 776 00:39:10,648 --> 00:39:13,482 Works like crazy. 777 00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:14,618 Fine, Dad. 778 00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:16,220 Then you apologize. 779 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,050 Alex, why do you have to be so stubborn? 780 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,782 Why does she have to be so stubborn? 781 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,017 I asked her. 782 00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:23,119 She answered, "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" 783 00:39:23,161 --> 00:39:24,322 What'd you say? 784 00:39:24,462 --> 00:39:26,454 I just apologized. 785 00:39:28,533 --> 00:39:30,832 Dad, I appreciate what you're trying to do here. 786 00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:34,167 I just don't feel like I have anything to say to her. 787 00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:36,774 Alex, this is so frustrating. 788 00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:38,570 You're just like your mother. 789 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:42,212 Good evening, everyone. 790 00:39:42,313 --> 00:39:44,179 Would you all please take your seats? 791 00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:46,341 Thank you. 792 00:39:46,484 --> 00:39:48,715 I think there are some over here. 793 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:51,186 Great. 794 00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:54,190 The Greenvale Elementary School would like to welcome you 795 00:39:54,325 --> 00:39:56,590 this evening to our production of 796 00:39:56,728 --> 00:40:00,096 The Whole Tooth and Nothing but the Tooth. 797 00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:08,203 Watch out, teeth. 798 00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:10,137 Here come the sweets. 799 00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:13,871 You can get cavities from those kind of treats. 800 00:40:14,012 --> 00:40:15,522 Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, 801 00:40:15,546 --> 00:40:18,141 gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble... 802 00:40:23,221 --> 00:40:25,190 Don't eat sweets or I'll turn brown. 803 00:40:25,323 --> 00:40:28,259 Remember to brush me up and down. 804 00:40:29,794 --> 00:40:33,060 We can walk on coals and have ninjas fight us, but be sure... 805 00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:35,359 Shh, Nick. 806 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:37,366 Another good checkup. 807 00:40:37,502 --> 00:40:38,936 No cavities! 808 00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:42,097 Yay! 809 00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:53,208 Miss Van Gelder's first grade class. 810 00:40:53,351 --> 00:40:54,785 Weren't they darling? 811 00:40:54,919 --> 00:40:57,411 Gosh, they grow up so fast. 812 00:40:57,555 --> 00:41:01,458 And now let's welcome Mrs. Rabino's second grade class, 813 00:41:01,592 --> 00:41:06,462 who will show us a day in the life of a baby tooth. 814 00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:16,100 Hi. I'm a baby tooth. 815 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,904 I've been here a long time, and I think I'm getting loose. 816 00:41:20,044 --> 00:41:22,604 Soon it'll be time for me to go! 817 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:28,947 Soon it's gonna be time for me to go. 818 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:31,113 Well, looks like it's time for me to go. 819 00:41:31,255 --> 00:41:32,848 Sure wish I could get out of here. 820 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:35,392 I got to be on Wall Street by 9:00. 821 00:41:35,526 --> 00:41:38,928 Tooth Fairy, come and get me. 822 00:41:39,063 --> 00:41:41,191 Alex, what's the hurry? 823 00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:43,597 Mom, you know, I don't think you realize 824 00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:46,899 how valuable I am in the outside world. 825 00:41:47,038 --> 00:41:50,167 Under a pillow, I'm worth as much as 25 cents. 826 00:41:50,308 --> 00:41:52,903 Even more on the open market. 827 00:41:53,044 --> 00:41:55,479 But, honey, there's so much to talk about. 828 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:57,081 I got to go, Mom. 829 00:41:57,215 --> 00:42:00,447 A permanent tooth is breathing down my neck. 830 00:42:01,486 --> 00:42:03,352 Besides... 831 00:42:03,488 --> 00:42:05,354 I kind of get the feeling 832 00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:07,618 maybe you don't want me around anymore. 833 00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:09,887 Of course I want you around. What... 834 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:11,997 You're my little baby tooth! 835 00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:14,122 Then how come you yelled at me yesterday? 836 00:42:14,265 --> 00:42:15,790 Oh, I didn't mean to. 837 00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:16,933 I was angry. 838 00:42:16,968 --> 00:42:18,493 I-I didn't know what I was saying. 839 00:42:18,636 --> 00:42:21,128 I got to go, Mommy. 840 00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,571 Will you come back and visit me? 841 00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:27,941 I can't be flying all over the country for you. 842 00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:28,944 Listen to me. 843 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,605 Alex? Alex! 844 00:42:30,748 --> 00:42:32,376 Alex! 845 00:43:53,865 --> 00:43:55,265 Mm. 846 00:43:55,399 --> 00:43:58,369 Alex, you forgot to pack your tie. 847 00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:03,102 Well, it's not like you don't have others. 848 00:44:03,241 --> 00:44:06,109 Actually, with all your ties, 849 00:44:06,244 --> 00:44:09,237 it's hard to believe you've only got one neck. 850 00:44:18,556 --> 00:44:20,548 Hi. 851 00:44:22,393 --> 00:44:24,555 Hi. 852 00:44:24,695 --> 00:44:28,223 Why didn't you, uh, go out for ice cream with the others? 853 00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:32,533 Just didn't feel like it. 854 00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:37,934 I didn't feel like it either. 855 00:44:38,075 --> 00:44:40,601 Well, I'll get out of your way. 856 00:44:40,745 --> 00:44:42,338 Wait a minute, Mom. 857 00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:45,441 I can't take this anymore. 858 00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:48,018 What did I do to make you so upset at me? 859 00:44:49,053 --> 00:44:50,316 Nothing. 860 00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:52,047 Nothing, honey. 861 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:54,523 I'm sorry. It's-it's me. 862 00:44:54,659 --> 00:44:56,093 It's-it's all me. 863 00:44:56,227 --> 00:44:57,661 I-I just... 864 00:44:57,795 --> 00:44:59,263 Just what? 865 00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,166 Mom, we got to talk about this. 866 00:45:03,301 --> 00:45:05,361 I mean, I'm not leaving home like this. 867 00:45:06,837 --> 00:45:08,305 What's going on? 868 00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:11,366 W... It's-it's not... 869 00:45:11,509 --> 00:45:13,671 it's not that I don't-don't want you to be happy. 870 00:45:13,811 --> 00:45:16,975 It's... it's not that I don't want you to-to be successful 871 00:45:17,114 --> 00:45:18,377 and have everything you want. 872 00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:20,212 I mean, I do. I-I want you to be happy. 873 00:45:20,351 --> 00:45:23,412 I... I just... 874 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,853 Just what? 875 00:45:25,990 --> 00:45:28,858 Well, if... 876 00:45:28,993 --> 00:45:32,862 if I could keep you in this house forever, 877 00:45:32,997 --> 00:45:36,456 I would. 878 00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:42,330 I-I don't know what to say to that, Mom. 879 00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:43,998 Oh. 880 00:45:44,141 --> 00:45:45,234 Nothing to say to that. 881 00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:46,742 Why? What do you say to that? 882 00:45:46,877 --> 00:45:48,743 Uh, it's a crazy thing to think. 883 00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:51,348 It's a crazy thing for a mother to think. I mean... 884 00:45:52,717 --> 00:45:55,585 I mean, I know what-what I-I should be doing. 885 00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:57,531 I sh-should've washed your clothes and packed your bags 886 00:45:57,555 --> 00:46:00,115 and made you a cake, given you a hug and send you on your way. 887 00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:03,660 And damn it, that's what I was planning to do! 888 00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:07,253 Mm, I-I just, I just couldn't do it. 889 00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:11,400 See, Mom... 890 00:46:11,535 --> 00:46:13,868 this isn't all about you. 891 00:46:16,207 --> 00:46:20,042 I'm-I'm the one who's going out there. 892 00:46:20,177 --> 00:46:23,705 I'm the one who's rushing into God knows what. 893 00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,385 All my life, 894 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:31,648 I've planned for this moment. 895 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,588 Alex P. Keaton. 896 00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:37,661 Brilliant young financial executive. 897 00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:40,788 I mean, that's who I'm supposed to be, right? 898 00:46:43,901 --> 00:46:47,201 What if I don't make it? 899 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:50,206 What if it doesn't work out? 900 00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:52,207 And I'm finished, Mom. 901 00:46:52,343 --> 00:46:54,107 I mean, that's it. 902 00:46:54,245 --> 00:46:56,271 It was all about nothing. 903 00:46:56,414 --> 00:46:58,815 And that scares the hell out of me, 904 00:46:58,949 --> 00:47:02,977 and I don't understand why-why you can't understand that. 905 00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,680 I understand it, Alex. 906 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,724 You're scared. 907 00:47:07,858 --> 00:47:10,191 But you're always scared or worried 908 00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:13,321 or nervous about things, and... 909 00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:16,161 But you always come out on top. 910 00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:18,735 Things always work out for you. 911 00:47:18,869 --> 00:47:20,394 Well, that's great, Mom. 912 00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:22,268 Is-is there something wrong with that? 913 00:47:22,406 --> 00:47:23,840 I don't, I don't... 914 00:47:23,974 --> 00:47:25,966 Do you resent that? 915 00:47:26,110 --> 00:47:27,635 No. 916 00:47:27,778 --> 00:47:30,771 No, I-I don't resent that. 917 00:47:33,484 --> 00:47:36,682 What I do resent... 918 00:47:36,821 --> 00:47:41,259 is the callous joy you seem to be taking in leaving this house. 919 00:47:41,392 --> 00:47:42,969 Look, I don't know what you're talking about. 920 00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:44,371 - W-Wait, I'm not finished! - Here you go again. 921 00:47:44,395 --> 00:47:45,624 'Cause, see, if it were me 922 00:47:45,763 --> 00:47:48,289 leaving this family, I wouldn't be going, 923 00:47:48,432 --> 00:47:50,628 "Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Kiss, kiss, kiss. 924 00:47:50,768 --> 00:47:52,532 I love you! I'm going off to my new life!" 925 00:47:52,670 --> 00:47:56,539 ♪ Ah, start spreading the news, I'm leaving today! ♪ 926 00:47:56,674 --> 00:47:58,336 'Cause if it were me... 927 00:47:58,476 --> 00:48:00,570 if it were me, it would break my heart! 928 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:02,407 It would tear me up! 929 00:48:02,546 --> 00:48:04,777 Well, don't you know how hard it is for me?! 930 00:48:04,915 --> 00:48:07,009 I mean, don't you know how hard it is for me 931 00:48:07,151 --> 00:48:09,677 to walk out that door? 932 00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:12,688 Every time I've left this house, I've always come back, 933 00:48:12,823 --> 00:48:15,850 but this is it, Mom. 934 00:48:15,993 --> 00:48:17,859 And everybody else seems to understand 935 00:48:17,995 --> 00:48:19,861 how hard that is for me. 936 00:48:19,997 --> 00:48:21,659 Everybody else has been real supportive... 937 00:48:21,799 --> 00:48:23,927 Dad, Jen, Mal, even Andy... But not you! 938 00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:26,435 Damn it, why can't you be happy for me?! 939 00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:28,801 You're my mother! 940 00:48:28,939 --> 00:48:31,101 Yeah. 941 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:33,177 I'm your mother. 942 00:48:33,310 --> 00:48:35,245 I'm Alex Keaton's mother. 943 00:48:35,379 --> 00:48:37,814 That's what this is all about. 944 00:48:41,619 --> 00:48:44,145 Okay, so we've established that you're my mother. 945 00:48:47,858 --> 00:48:49,622 See, you don't, you don't seem to understand 946 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,955 what it's like for me. 947 00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:52,393 See, I feel like I'm standing 948 00:48:52,530 --> 00:48:55,364 on something real high and looking down 949 00:48:55,499 --> 00:48:59,937 at all the pieces of my life, and I can see who I am. 950 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:04,272 And I see this... 951 00:49:04,408 --> 00:49:09,142 this very big part of me that makes me who I am... 952 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,249 I see that part... 953 00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:13,476 breaking away. 954 00:49:15,019 --> 00:49:16,783 And I know that it's right, 955 00:49:16,921 --> 00:49:21,017 and I know it's supposed to happen, but... 956 00:49:21,158 --> 00:49:25,220 I don't want to let go. 957 00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:32,331 You're not, you're not gonna lose me, Mom. 958 00:49:34,338 --> 00:49:37,308 I mean, there's a lot of big changes ahead, but... 959 00:49:39,143 --> 00:49:40,805 you're still my mother. 960 00:49:40,945 --> 00:49:44,245 You know, I'm still Alex Keaton. 961 00:49:44,381 --> 00:49:46,714 I'm still Elyse Keaton's son. 962 00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:52,282 That's right. 963 00:49:52,423 --> 00:49:54,324 It's not such a bad job, huh? 964 00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:57,019 Are you kidding me? 965 00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:59,630 I got the best mom around. 966 00:50:01,098 --> 00:50:04,432 Remember when I was a little kid, 967 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:08,130 and, uh... and you'd come and pick me up at the playground? 968 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,102 Know what the other kids said? 969 00:50:11,242 --> 00:50:14,144 The other kids would say, "There goes Alex's mom. 970 00:50:14,278 --> 00:50:15,541 What a knockout." 971 00:50:17,615 --> 00:50:20,483 Go on. 972 00:50:20,618 --> 00:50:23,053 Mom, you-you were the hippest, 973 00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:25,986 coolest, classiest, 974 00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:28,319 best-looking mom around. 975 00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:30,587 Go on. 976 00:50:32,596 --> 00:50:35,725 No, better than that... 977 00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:39,860 I had a mom that'd always listen to me. 978 00:50:40,004 --> 00:50:44,169 Anything that was bothering me, I could talk to her about. 979 00:50:44,308 --> 00:50:45,776 Until this week. 980 00:50:45,910 --> 00:50:49,176 Far enough. 981 00:50:49,313 --> 00:50:51,839 I'm sorry. 982 00:50:51,982 --> 00:50:55,214 You know what this makes me think of? 983 00:50:55,352 --> 00:50:57,116 All those times when your father and I 984 00:50:57,254 --> 00:50:59,416 would go to open house at night at your school, 985 00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:01,025 and we'd sit in your classroom. 986 00:51:01,158 --> 00:51:04,356 And I'd-I'd hear these-these mothers come in, and they'd go, 987 00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:05,963 "Oh, that's Alex Keaton's mother. 988 00:51:06,096 --> 00:51:08,725 Now, he's the smart one that the other kids won't play with." 989 00:51:10,634 --> 00:51:11,966 And I'd-I'd get upset. 990 00:51:12,102 --> 00:51:14,230 I'd think, I'm not just Alex Keaton's mother. 991 00:51:14,371 --> 00:51:15,771 I'm Elyse Keaton. I'm an individual. 992 00:51:15,873 --> 00:51:17,967 I'm-I'm a person in my own right. 993 00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:21,476 And then I'd-I'd just stop, and I'd think, 994 00:51:21,612 --> 00:51:23,604 I love being Alex Keaton's mother. 995 00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:27,779 It's not such a bad job, is it? 996 00:51:30,054 --> 00:51:31,989 It has its moments. 997 00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:40,257 Well, I should let you get some sleep, honey. 998 00:51:40,397 --> 00:51:41,888 You've got an early flight to catch. 999 00:51:42,032 --> 00:51:43,272 Hey, Mom, listen, um, you know, 1000 00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:44,927 it could be pretty crazy in the morning, 1001 00:51:45,002 --> 00:51:47,198 so if I don't get a chance to say this to you, 1002 00:51:47,338 --> 00:51:49,330 I want to say it to you now: 1003 00:51:49,473 --> 00:51:52,102 I'm gonna miss you so much. 1004 00:51:54,011 --> 00:51:56,003 Honey, I'm gonna miss you, too. 1005 00:51:58,048 --> 00:52:00,415 I'm glad you're Alex Keaton's mother. 1006 00:52:09,493 --> 00:52:11,359 Um, who am I kidding? 1007 00:52:11,495 --> 00:52:12,793 I'm not gonna sleep tonight. 1008 00:52:12,930 --> 00:52:14,899 Uh, why don't we go downstairs to the kitchen, 1009 00:52:15,032 --> 00:52:17,365 and-and you can buy me a cup of coffee. 1010 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:21,370 Well, on your salary, you better be buying. 1011 00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:33,913 No, Mom. 1012 00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:37,351 Michele Briganti was not my first girlfriend. 1013 00:52:37,488 --> 00:52:40,890 Ana Krewson was my first girlfriend. 1014 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:44,092 No, no... 1015 00:52:44,228 --> 00:52:47,062 Ana Krewson, um, beat you up 1016 00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:49,689 in the back of the Little League field. 1017 00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,667 No, see, that was Michele Briganti. 1018 00:52:55,439 --> 00:52:57,499 You're wrong. 1019 00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,405 So, what, do you want to bet, Mom? 1020 00:52:59,543 --> 00:53:01,205 How much do you want to bet? 1021 00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:02,404 Dollar. 1022 00:53:02,546 --> 00:53:04,037 A dollar? 1023 00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,979 Pshaw! 1024 00:53:06,116 --> 00:53:08,950 All right, five dollars. 1025 00:53:09,086 --> 00:53:12,215 No, it's too much. A dollar. 1026 00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:13,654 - It's a bet. - Okay. 1027 00:53:13,791 --> 00:53:16,317 Hey, Dad, Dad, settle a bet. 1028 00:53:20,297 --> 00:53:21,390 Hey, Dad! 1029 00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:26,334 We... can walk on coals... 1030 00:53:28,338 --> 00:53:32,298 or have ninjas fight us... 1031 00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:35,174 but be sure not to get... 1032 00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:36,871 gingivitis. 1033 00:53:43,954 --> 00:53:47,152 Alex. Elyse. 1034 00:53:47,291 --> 00:53:50,921 I-I... I was having a nightmare. 1035 00:53:52,930 --> 00:53:54,956 I dreamt I was Nick. 1036 00:53:59,837 --> 00:54:02,671 How did I get here? 1037 00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:05,241 Well, uh, about m-midnight, 1038 00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:07,901 you came down to sit and have coffee with me and Alex, 1039 00:54:08,045 --> 00:54:10,844 and we were having coffee, so you went to the refrigerator 1040 00:54:10,981 --> 00:54:14,383 to get some cream, and you just, you just never made it back. 1041 00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:19,284 Oh. Oh. 1042 00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:21,585 Cream, anyone? 1043 00:54:21,725 --> 00:54:23,819 It's yogurt now, Dad. 1044 00:54:26,797 --> 00:54:28,789 Oh, wow, it's 7:15. 1045 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:30,992 Cab should be here any minute. 1046 00:54:31,135 --> 00:54:34,071 Alex, uh, look, are-are you sure you don't want us 1047 00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:35,695 to drive you to the airport? 1048 00:54:35,839 --> 00:54:37,205 Oh, no, Dad. 1049 00:54:37,341 --> 00:54:40,402 This is on, uh, O'Brien, Mathers and Clark's expense account. 1050 00:54:40,544 --> 00:54:43,810 Come to think of it, I may even tip the driver this time. 1051 00:54:47,317 --> 00:54:48,546 Morning, Andy. 1052 00:54:48,685 --> 00:54:49,880 You want some breakfast? 1053 00:54:50,020 --> 00:54:54,515 Coffee, black, two sugars, and step on it. 1054 00:54:58,595 --> 00:54:59,824 This is ridiculous. 1055 00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:02,364 I mean, farmers don't even get up this early. 1056 00:55:05,969 --> 00:55:09,030 Come on, everybody, let's have a little spirit. 1057 00:55:09,173 --> 00:55:11,165 Alex is leaving. 1058 00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:15,507 Let's just give him a big, energetic Keaton send-off, okay? 1059 00:55:18,582 --> 00:55:20,949 Well, looks like we're the only ones 1060 00:55:21,084 --> 00:55:23,178 with any stamina around here, Mom. 1061 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,879 These namby-pambies have nothing on us. 1062 00:55:25,022 --> 00:55:27,685 Nah, you tired? 1063 00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,817 No, I'm fine, Jennifer. 1064 00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:37,200 Hello. 1065 00:55:37,301 --> 00:55:38,667 Hi. 1066 00:55:38,802 --> 00:55:41,328 So you're leaving today, huh? 1067 00:55:41,471 --> 00:55:43,372 That's right, Mal. 1068 00:55:43,507 --> 00:55:46,019 This is our last morning in this kitchen together as housemates. 1069 00:55:46,043 --> 00:55:47,043 Mm. 1070 00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:49,340 Next time we see each other, 1071 00:55:49,479 --> 00:55:52,347 a new phase of our lives will have begun. 1072 00:55:52,482 --> 00:55:54,917 I'll be able to buy and sell you. 1073 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:57,979 Drop me a line. 1074 00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,517 Oh, there's my cab. 1075 00:56:00,657 --> 00:56:02,091 Oh. 1076 00:56:02,226 --> 00:56:04,991 Oh, so, uh... 1077 00:56:05,128 --> 00:56:07,563 I guess this is it, huh? 1078 00:56:09,333 --> 00:56:10,392 The big send-off. 1079 00:56:10,534 --> 00:56:11,661 Uh, yeah. 1080 00:56:11,802 --> 00:56:13,668 Listen, uh, I-I don't need any big send-off. 1081 00:56:13,804 --> 00:56:15,534 I-I really couldn't take 1082 00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:17,504 a big, emotional scene right now, 1083 00:56:17,641 --> 00:56:19,405 so, um, why don't we just 1084 00:56:19,543 --> 00:56:21,603 take our leave in a manner befitting 1085 00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:23,646 uh, the youngest executive 1086 00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:25,180 at O'Brien, Mathers and Clark. 1087 00:56:25,315 --> 00:56:26,578 Dad. 1088 00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:29,414 Well, in that spirit, good-bye, son. 1089 00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:31,283 Good-bye, Dad. 1090 00:56:31,421 --> 00:56:34,789 Remember, you still owe me $74.50. 1091 00:56:34,925 --> 00:56:36,450 Mom. 1092 00:56:36,593 --> 00:56:38,289 It's been fun. 1093 00:56:38,428 --> 00:56:40,988 A million laughs. 1094 00:56:41,131 --> 00:56:43,123 Pleasure working with you. 1095 00:56:47,971 --> 00:56:49,132 Thanks. 1096 00:56:49,273 --> 00:56:50,434 See ya, pal. 1097 00:56:50,574 --> 00:56:53,305 Hey, send me the picture of the first guy you step on 1098 00:56:53,443 --> 00:56:55,742 as you climb up the corporate ladder. 1099 00:56:58,115 --> 00:56:59,879 You got it. 1100 00:57:01,885 --> 00:57:04,821 Uh, just tell her I've gone, and... 1101 00:57:04,955 --> 00:57:06,856 you don't know where I am. 1102 00:57:06,990 --> 00:57:08,288 Oh, hey. 1103 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:11,224 Hey, the... I wanted to give you something. 1104 00:57:13,163 --> 00:57:16,497 Be surprised what a little splash of color will do. 1105 00:57:19,569 --> 00:57:22,698 Hey, whoever called for the cab, the meter's running. 1106 00:57:22,839 --> 00:57:23,863 Uh, yeah, that's me. 1107 00:57:24,007 --> 00:57:26,772 You know, I like the red. 1108 00:57:26,910 --> 00:57:29,641 It makes you look like somebody. 1109 00:57:30,681 --> 00:57:32,616 Aha. 1110 00:57:35,252 --> 00:57:38,586 Uh... well. 1111 00:57:38,722 --> 00:57:41,715 Guess this is it. 1112 00:57:41,858 --> 00:57:43,224 Bye. 1113 00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,192 - Good-bye. - Bye. -Bye. 1114 00:57:45,329 --> 00:57:46,329 - Bye. - Bye. 1115 00:57:46,363 --> 00:57:47,363 - Bye. - Adios. 1116 00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:49,625 Bye. 1117 00:57:49,766 --> 00:57:51,428 See you later. 1118 00:57:51,568 --> 00:57:52,831 - Bye, now. - Safe trip. 1119 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,781 - I'll call you guys. - We'll be talking to you. 1120 00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:55,915 - We'll be talking to you. - Okay. 1121 00:57:55,939 --> 00:57:58,670 - Bye. - Bye, Alex. -Bye. 1122 00:58:02,746 --> 00:58:04,180 I love you guys. 1123 00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:06,306 - Aw. - Aw, honey. 1124 00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:15,101 For the very last time, we'll be introducing 1125 00:58:15,125 --> 00:58:16,991 the, uh, cast of Family Ties. 1126 00:58:17,127 --> 00:58:18,127 Courteney Cox! 1127 00:58:25,736 --> 00:58:27,762 Scott Valentine! 1128 00:58:33,610 --> 00:58:35,602 Marc Price! 1129 00:58:41,618 --> 00:58:43,553 Brian Bonsall! 1130 00:58:47,591 --> 00:58:49,583 Tina Yothers! 1131 00:58:57,868 --> 00:58:59,769 Justine Bateman! 1132 00:59:07,310 --> 00:59:09,711 Michael J. Fox! 1133 00:59:18,989 --> 00:59:21,083 Michael Gross! 1134 00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:24,060 - Hey. - Hey! 1135 00:59:24,194 --> 00:59:25,194 Hey. 1136 00:59:26,763 --> 00:59:29,028 And Meredith Baxter-Birney! 1137 00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:42,542 Ladies and gentlemen, Gary David Goldberg. 1138 00:59:52,355 --> 00:59:54,756 Thanks for... 1139 00:59:54,891 --> 00:59:57,417 for seven wonderful years. 1140 01:00:03,967 --> 01:00:05,629 - Bye. - Good-bye. 1141 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:06,964 Good-bye. 1142 01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:07,764 Bye-bye. 1143 01:00:07,904 --> 01:00:09,202 Good-bye. 1144 01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:10,339 We love you all. 1145 01:00:10,407 --> 01:00:11,431 Good-bye, Family Ties. 1146 01:00:11,575 --> 01:00:13,100 We sure had some good times. 1147 01:00:13,243 --> 01:00:14,609 Hope to see y'all again. 1148 01:00:14,744 --> 01:00:15,473 Good-bye. 1149 01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:16,612 Bye. 1150 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:17,773 Bye. 1151 01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:18,677 Good-bye. 1152 01:00:18,815 --> 01:00:19,815 Bye-bye. 1153 01:00:19,883 --> 01:00:21,613 Bye, everybody. I love you guys. 1154 01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:22,980 Never say good-bye. 1155 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,418 Bye. 1156 01:00:24,554 --> 01:00:25,578 Good-bye, everybody. 1157 01:00:25,722 --> 01:00:27,333 I'm really gonna miss you, and I love you. 1158 01:00:27,357 --> 01:00:28,620 Good-bye. 1159 01:00:28,758 --> 01:00:29,885 Bye. 1160 01:00:30,026 --> 01:00:31,026 Good-bye. 1161 01:00:31,128 --> 01:00:31,720 Bye. 1162 01:00:31,862 --> 01:00:32,386 Good-bye. 1163 01:00:32,529 --> 01:00:33,360 Bye. 1164 01:00:33,497 --> 01:00:34,760 Good-bye, everyone. 1165 01:00:34,898 --> 01:00:36,594 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 1166 01:00:36,733 --> 01:00:37,977 I don't want to have to say good-bye. 1167 01:00:38,001 --> 01:00:39,526 - Good-bye, everyone. - Bye, everybody. 1168 01:00:39,669 --> 01:00:40,669 Good-bye. 1169 01:00:40,704 --> 01:00:42,673 Bye, everybody. 1170 01:00:42,806 --> 01:00:44,570 Good-bye, Family Ties. 1171 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:46,233 Be sure and write. 1172 01:00:46,376 --> 01:00:47,969 Good-bye and thank you. 1173 01:00:48,111 --> 01:00:48,976 Good-bye, everyone. 1174 01:00:49,112 --> 01:00:50,112 Bye. 1175 01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:51,012 Bye, Gary. 1176 01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:52,639 - Take care. - I had a lot of fun. 1177 01:00:52,782 --> 01:00:53,613 Bye. 1178 01:00:53,750 --> 01:00:54,581 Thank you. 1179 01:00:54,718 --> 01:00:55,981 It is good-bye, 1180 01:00:56,119 --> 01:00:58,179 but I carry you here. 1181 01:00:58,321 --> 01:00:59,448 Good-bye, everyone. 1182 01:00:59,589 --> 01:01:01,387 Thank you all very much. 1183 01:01:01,525 --> 01:01:02,525 Good-bye. 1184 01:01:02,559 --> 01:01:03,254 Hasta luego. 1185 01:01:03,393 --> 01:01:04,656 Good-bye, Family Ties. 1186 01:01:04,794 --> 01:01:05,794 It was fun. 1187 01:01:05,896 --> 01:01:07,387 Bye, everybody at Family Ties. 1188 01:01:07,531 --> 01:01:08,260 - Good-bye. - Bye. 1189 01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:09,593 Good-bye, dear friends. 1190 01:01:09,733 --> 01:01:12,225 - Bye. -Good-bye. Good-bye. - Bye. 1191 01:01:12,369 --> 01:01:14,065 Good-bye. Thank you. 1192 01:01:14,204 --> 01:01:15,263 This has been great. 1193 01:01:15,405 --> 01:01:16,600 Never happen again. 1194 01:01:16,740 --> 01:01:18,140 Not even gonna look for it. 1195 01:01:18,275 --> 01:01:20,267 Bye. 1196 01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:24,976 Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.